this
is an update on everything so far. some things will be left out yes, bc
im human && fergetful. lol but as this is the best i can do, i
hope you like it!
Kya
Bree Young is doing great. she is back up to her birth weight. which
means, shes off of the losin weight binge && is startin to
gain. all babies do it. she also is on the PICK insteada all the IV's
comin out of her umbilical cord. its one IV that goes in her tiny
little arm && is fed all the way to her heart that way they
dont have to stick her again && its safer fer her too. less
chance of infection && less scars. shes gettin my breastmilk
every hour. i dont remember what the dosage was, but i know they said
every hour she gets it. also, we were recently able to hold her in our
arms. its called the kangaroo hold. pics of that are up. i went
&& saw her again last night. she had her beanie off &&
you can see all the hair that she has just like mommy && she
has pretty blue eyes. which, most babies do when theyre first born. but
her fingers crook the way mine do too. she is soo tiny. she wa born 1
lb 9 oz, && 12 1/2 in long. she is now 1 lb 9 oz && 13
in long! she is doin great. she has also already had a bout of ghaundis
[sp?] that she has done smoked right through. i think thats it. um, she
has slight sleep apnea. but thats only bc shes still so small that it
tires her out to breath on her own all night long. so. they have put
her back in the ventilator fer now. just untill she is ready to do it
all on her own. see, @@ this point she shouldve still been in the womb
where i breathed fer her. so...since she decieded she was ready to get
out early. lol she has slight sleep apnea. but they say itll go away
once her lungs harden && she gets used to breathin on her own
completely. its hard to believe. shes 2 weeks old today. yep, good ole
New Years baby.
on the the better things. Todd && I
are engaged. to be married....later. i could not be happier. things
with him are GREAT. we live together. he/we are gunna close in the
carport && have our own little room untill Kya comes home
&& we have the money to move out. seein him everyday. wakin up
next to him every mornin. is the BEST thing. its so nice to cuddle with
him every night all night then wake up next to him in the morning. he
even has a drawer fer his clothes in my dresser. lol hed have more. but
thats all the room ive made so far. lol i have even gotten him to admit
hes white && proud of it. lol lol its somethin yall would have
to know him quite well before youd really understand. we have such a
great relationship. we dont fight. && if we start to...we both
kinda jus give in a little before we fight. its nice to feel important,
to feel special. i know that goin into all this. that when we first got
together alot of yall were like. dont fall to fast. you dont know him
yet. even his own cousin...was tellin me this. which. i did listen. but
i couldnt help it. the way this has turned out. i smile everyday. i
have somethin to live fer. my family! i mean. i even clean &&
cook && do laundry && i do special things fer him. i
cooked him dinner && dressed up realy nice && did my
hair && makeup. && set the table with the flowers he
got me when i was in the hospital. hes the most amazing guy ive ever
known. the way hes been there fer me. takin me to && from
hospitals. stayin the night with me there. even on a work night! thats
some majorrrr commitment. my whole family LOVES him. even my dad. that
JUST met him. he picked up on how important Todd is to me. Todd sings
to me all the time. but the other day. he sang that song "dont wanna
miss a thing". i started to cry. this boy says some majorly sweet
things to me. theres no way i could ever feel differently about this
boy. i want to spend the rest of my life with him && Kya. ya
know. we were layin in bed the other night...&& he rolled over
&& held me && kissed me && said that "not only
do i love you with all my heart && soul" then a kiss, " but i
want to spend the rest of my life with you" kiss, "i want to spend the
rest of eternity with you." kiss "your the love of my life" kiss. i
mean. its just. its really sweet. i wish yall could liike, tap into my
brain fer like a second then you could see how really strongly i love
Todd. me tellin you the things he says er the thigns er does...it will
never get you to feel the way i feel. i mean, he holds me all night.
&& when he wakes up, he kisses me on the cheek er on my
eye...er hell just hold me. hes so amazing. theres no way around it. he
makes me the happiest i have ever been. im so glad that carley
introduced us when she did. bc if itd been later, things mightve not
ended up the way they are now. that football game was the begininning
of the best times of my life. yes a few REALLY bad things happened
during this time, but he was there holdin my hand the whole time. if
yall knew half the stuff hed done fer me when i was in that
hospital...youd be amazed. i see now why other guys are so mean
&& ugly. bc Todd has it all. the looks, the attitude, the
personality, the vehicle, the job...lol but really. fer me. he is
everything. i love him more then time could tell. more then my heart
could say. more then i have ever loved anyone in my entire life. now
heres the exception to that. i love Kya more, but not in the same way.
so fer those of you who like to try && twist my words. its not
gunna happen. i love my daughter with the cleanest kind of love there
is. i love Todd with a different kind of love. the love i have fer them
is equally as strong, but in different manners.
Todd, youve
made me so happy. if i never had anythign else in my life. youd be
enough. just this time with youd be enough. you have taught me so much
about life && ppl in general. youv done so much fer me. youve
showed me its not about sayin youll call then callin later. its just
callin. er just showin up randomly to be there with you. its about give
&& take. its about happiness. that theres more to life then
drama, anger, && death. its about the journey to that last
little box. its about how you get there, what memories you take with
you. i love you so much. i just want you to know, that ill ALWAYS be
here fer you. ALWAYS. no matter what. as you have been fer me. i cannot
wait to be yer wife. to be bale to say Mrs Todd Allen Knowles. im yers,
but this way everyone knows im yers. totally dedicated to our little
family. the moment you asked me i went crazy. i wanted to scream
&& cry && laugh && hug you && kiss you
&& make love && ust sit there in the moment. i never
know that askin somethin like that had such a big effect on someone. i
guess its bc the feelings that are there. bc its a serious thing when
you mean it. i know you mean it. i know sometimes i joke kinda far too,
but just remember. i love you && i would NEVER intentionally
hurt you in any way.
i love you babe. you are my everything fer ever && always.
